Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
