sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
