Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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