i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
