Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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