Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize