super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
