I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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