i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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