we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
