I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
