:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
