Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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