pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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