Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
