You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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