Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
