Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
