think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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