Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
