Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
