were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
