He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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