Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize