Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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