I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
