Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
