and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
