That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
