Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
