operation harelip BJ is a go
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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