just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Actions speak louder than pants.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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