the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
