we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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