I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she told me i tasted like america
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
