"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
