small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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