My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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