Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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