i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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