I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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