why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
