This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
