So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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