About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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