You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I lost the right to judge tonight
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
