yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize