chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
