i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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