if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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