Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
