It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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