Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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