yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
