And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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