Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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