honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
