her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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