I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
