You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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