This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
